Yep, it's the big C

Well, here we are... the biopsy has been done, and the results are... breast cancer.  At fricking 36.  What the fuck!?  So now I have to have genetic testing done to see if I have a gene mutation (BRCA 1 or BRCA2).  If so then not only do I lose both boobs, but my ovaries as well.  Yay.  So while I'm trying to remain positive (hey, I get a boob job, maybe a tummy tuck, maybe no shaving for a while, maybe no more periods), I'm scared as hell that this has spread.  I'm getting a PET scan to see if it's stayed local or spread to other places in my body... this is happening Tuesday.  Until then I just - wait.  Ugh! 

Crap times two...

Well, the docs office called to tell me that "there is definitely a solid mass there, and it appears to have some malignancy present."  Damn.  I was really hoping that I was just overreacting, and that they would come back saying it was just a cyst.  So now I have to wait (again!) til next Wednesday for a consultation with a surgeon, who will then at a later date take a biopsy which I will then wait longer to find out the results of.  All this waiting... and I want it done YESTERDAY!!  I'm not a patient person, and this is not working very well for me!

Meanwhile, telling my parents was not great.  My mom took it well enough I think, but my dad... His mom (my grandmother) died of breast cancer.  I think this is making him relive all those moments all over again.  I know it's making me think of her... but I keep telling myself that it isn't the same as it was back in the 80's, a lot more is known about cancer now, and many MANY more options are available to me...

Of course, I can still hold out hope that it's benign...